my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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