Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
