Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
