Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
How's work?
Spinning.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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