If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
