if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
