I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
