dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
