dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
How does it feel to date your dad?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize