I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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