So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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