I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
should my penis look like a turkey
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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