Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
if only i could text you this smell
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize