I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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