And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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