so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
there is glitter all over my balls
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
