Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
