actually, I'm a sock model
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
