talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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