it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize