I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
