haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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