of course. lets lasso hookers.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
