hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
