Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
