Umm I'm too high to move.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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