why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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