wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm eating all of the evidence.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize