Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
