just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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