I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
and she was petting her beer can
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
COCAINE IS GR8
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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