When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize