sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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