i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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