Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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