the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
