ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
