I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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