I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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