Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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