And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
