I think I died a long time ago.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
