i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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