it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Randomize