tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
