I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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