I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
