question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize