It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
