i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
The Olympian is in my bed
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
