i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
