With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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