Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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