I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
