Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
