I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
