What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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