He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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