Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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