Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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