So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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