Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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