Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
