haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
