i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize