Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
