I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I FOUND THE LEGS
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize